How to Deal with Being Newly Single on Valentine’s Day

Breakups are painful. But it’s especially difficult when you’re newly single on Valentine’s day.

In the weeks leading up to Feb.14, everywhere you look there are red and pink hearts and ads for engagement rings. You’re suddenly surrounded by other’s highly curated and Instagrammable declarations of love and commitment as the day draws nearer. You can’t help overhearing your co-workers talk about their plans with their SOS.

So it’s okay… go ahead, gag, roll your eyes, or scream if you need to.

Massive commercialization and social media have made being single on Valentine’s day uncomfortable. For anyone fresh from a breakup, the hurt of a new absence in their life is magnified. It’s okay if you want to mark the day crying into a pint of cookie dough ice cream or writing angry verses in your journal. No judgement here.

Everyone mourns the end of relationship in their own way.

But if you want to do something rather spend this Valentine’s Day at home alone, here are some ideas that can make venturing out more tolerable.

1. Pet some puppies. Head to your nearest pet store or animal shelter and cuddle with your favorite animal of choice. Petting animals releases feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin in the brain, which tend to be low when you’re feeling sad/depressed after a breakup.

2. Do a karaoke or trivia night at a local spot with other single friends. Lots of bars and coffee houses offer these. Here are some of our favorites. There’s sure to be laughter which reminds you that your happiness doesn’t depend on having a partner.

3. Book a spa day. Take a mental health day at work and get yourself pampered from head to toe. Mani, pedi, massage, facial…the works. (Gentlemen, this applies to you, too.)

4. Host a small dinner party for 3-5 friends. Throw yourself into the planning the menu, getting the ingredients, preparing the food, and arranging the place settings. Even if it’s less than perfect, just enjoy playing host(ess) for a night.

5. Take yourself on a date. Think about a date that you wish your ex would have taken you on. Then go make it happen for yourself. It’s easy to get stuck on the idea that you must do something with a partner. Not true at all.

6. Binge watch something. Sex and the City, Stranger Things, Sopranos, OTNB, Breaking Bad, 30Rock, Seinfeld, Friends, Game of Thrones, True Blood, The Office, and Curb Your Enthusiasm are some great TV series that come to mind. If movies are more your thing, try some movie trilogies like Back to the Future), your favorite Disney movies, or books-turned-films by the same author (Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, Emma, Mansfield Park).

7. Babysit. You probably know a couple that needs a babysitter for Valentine’s day. Offer to watch their kids to they can get some alone grown up time.

8. Plan a quick getaway. Look up last minute airline and hotel deals on Expedia, TravelZoo, etc. Pack a bag and go.

9. Do something your ex didn’t like to do.

10. Volunteer at a local shelter or elderly care home. After a breakup, it’s easy to focus on the love you’ve lost. But what about the love you have to give? Sharing that love with those in need of some TLC goes a long way to remind us that love comes in many shapes and sources.

11. Go for a workout. Something as simple as a brisk 20-minute walk will stimulate the release of endorphins, the body’s natural pain killers.  It also leads to the release of serotonin and norepinephrine which help you feel good and handle stress (e.g. post-breakup blues) better.

Hopefully, these ideas have started to help shift your outlook about being single on Valentine’s day. Or share this article with someone that you know that may need it. If you find yourself struggling to get over a breakup, you may need extra support. We’re here to help. You can call us at (305) 501-0133 or click here to schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Consult to learn more about how working with one of our therapists can help you during this difficult time.