Spending New Year’s Eve Alone
If you’re single, Christmas and New Year’s Eve can both be challenging for your self-esteem and mood. Both carry the possibility of family members who “can’t figure out” why you’re still single, hangouts with friends who are paired off, and news of engagements popping up left and right.
But New Year’s Eve does have that extra little twist of the knife: the well-known tradition of the midnight kiss. The only seeming options are staying home and thinking about all the people who are out with their S.O. or going out to a party and seeing couples all around you. Remember, though, that you have the option to blow the night entirely out of proportion or put it into its proper perspective.
For starters, remember that this one night is not symbolic of your entire life and your entire future.
We attach a crazy amount of significance to New Year’s Eve in both romantic and non-romantic ways. We expect it to be a life-changing turnaround for us. We think it symbolizes how we’re doing in life in general.
The fact is, a new year can be a great time to start a positive new habit or routine, but not because of any inherent exceptional quality that the day represents. It’s only special if you make it special.
This can work in your favor in 2 ways: If you want to decide to start something new on New Year’s, go for it! Use it as the special kick you need to get going! But on the other hand, when it comes to your singleness, remember that December 31 and January 1 aren’t actually any different than April 19 or August 2. You probably didn’t spiral into an existential crisis about your singleness on those days, so why should you at the new year? The fact that you’re single on that day doesn’t carry any more significance than it does any other day. It’s not a sign that you’re going to be single for the rest of your life. It’s just the reality of that day, the same as it is any other day.
If you have single friends as well, consider getting together to make a fun night of it.
If you’re like me, then you have a group of mixed friends – some single and some married or in relationships. You might feel odd about excluding those in a relationship for a singles-only night out, but keep in mind that it’s just one night. Keep in mind, also, that it’s not as if they’re going to be sitting at home alone crying if you go out just with your single friends. That’s the whole point – they’ll have their S.Os. Think about how much fun you could have just forgetting about the romantic implications of the night and spending it away from people who remind you of your singleness.
If you’re not in the mood to go out, then consider planning a day that reminds you of all of the significant parts of being single.
It’s not hard to do this. All you have to do is throw together a day of all the things you like to do and enjoy doing them without any compromise, discussion, or argument. Wanna watch a guilty pleasure movie? No one’s stopping you! Make that weird casserole full of holiday leftovers that no one except you thinks is good. Go for it! Drive across state lines to see that tourist attraction that’s on your bucket list. No time like the present! The best part about being single is the freedom to enjoy what you want to enjoy, so plan a New Year’s Eve that reminds you of just how great that really is.
Finally, if you’re lucky enough to live near family that you get along with, consider spending New Year’s Eve with them.
Sometimes New Year’s Eve isn’t treated as a typical family-gathering holiday because of its associations with staying up late and drinking. Still, many people treat it as an extension of Christmas and have a great time with their families. Your parents, aunts, uncles, and siblings may not host a wild party. However, you can still have a great time staying up playing board games or chatting over leftover Christmas cookies. If you’re with people who make you feel loved, then you’ll have a good time. Of course, not everyone is blessed with a family who makes them feel this way, so family time isn’t a guaranteed good idea for every single person. But, it can be one alternative to parties that you don’t think you’re going to enjoy.
Then again, there’s always the possibility that you are rocking the single life, that being around paired-off partygoers doesn’t bother you in the least. You love being single and hope to stay that way. If so, congratulations! For you, New Year’s Eve will be just a tiny blip in your already self-assured life.
If you’re one of the many single people who haven’t quite arrived at that state of confidence yet, though, then remember that you have options when the countdown rolls around this year. The holidays can bring up enough pain without adding depressive thoughts about your singleness into the mix, so take every step you can to avoid falling into that trap.
Envision Wellness is a private practice that offers psychotherapy, psychological testing, and life coaching in Miami, FL. Our team has a passion for helping others achieve happy, fulfilling, and change-making lives that make the world a better place. Each therapist has their areas of expertise. Not sure who you’d like to work with? Click here to schedule a free 20-minute phone consult to help you decide.
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